Sweaty Feet

Us guys don't understand ugg boots.  I have been ok with the response, "They are incredibly comfortable and warm" until last summer when I saw women wearing Ugg boots during a Utah summer...  Utah summers can get over 100 degrees outside and I can just imagine how sweaty, smelly and nasty your feet get when you have wrapped your feet with sheep skin and fleece and its 100 degrees outside.  Your argument goes right out the window...you wear them cause you think they look awesome, they don't look awesome.

Im okay with Ugg boots in the winter as long as they cost you more than 10 dollars.  There are some of those fake ugg boots out there that wear out after your 3rd use and make you look like a homeless person, no offense to the homeless people reading this blog.  If its 100 degrees outside and you just can't bring yourself to put these away for the summer and put on a pair of flip flops than you really need to just THROW THESE AWAY.

cottage cheese anyone?

This post is Rated PG-13

Im intrigued to know what peoples first thoughts were at reading the title of this post.  This post is inspired by all the ladies who go out in public wearing, leggings, tights or exercise spandex as pants.  Im not going to lie there are very very very few times that I am just a little tiny bit glad that someone has ignored this suggestion, BUT 95% of the time this suggestion should be followed very strictly.  

Okay...so just because you put a reminder in your smart phone to go to the gym for 15 minutes at some point during the day and walk slowly on the treadmill or do some lunges that doesn't give you a free pass to wear your spandex to school or grocery shopping or wherever you may go while out.  When I exercise I get all sweaty and smelly and I need to go home and shower and change before I go to my marketing class.  Yes sometimes leggings look attractive but they need to be accompanied by a skirt, a dress or shorts to cover up the awkward areas.  Why is it so much more awkward and inappropriate for a guy to walk around in spandex all day?  Just because we have a different piece of equipment that shows?  

If you find yourself wearing your spandex, tights or leggings out in public and catching people adverting their eyes and redirecting their paths, it would probably be best for you to just THROW THEM ALL AWAY. 

Oh Wait What the H is on your Feet....

Oh boy....when I started this blog a few days ago the first thing my little brother said to me is I needed to blog about these shoes.  These shoes came about because people recently have been saying that it is better to run in your bare feet or with shoes like these.  I am totally fine with that and think that could be a cool and fun thing to try out.  I see the picture of these shoes and think sure id like to get a pair of these on my feet and try them out.  They remind me of a modern samurai shoe.  Anyway the thing that i am not understanding is why people have begun to wear these shoes out like they are normal sneakers.  Today when I got to school I saw some kid sitting at a desk studying wearing khakis a polo and a pair of these shoes.  This makes zero sense to me no one can take another individual seriously in any setting, other than running, if you have a pair of these shoes on.  The only excuse that someone would have to wear these out in public, would be, if they are running constantly everywhere they are going, then yeah sure wear them all you want.  But seriously if your a runner keep these in the closet so no one sees them except for when you are out running and if your not a runner and own a pair of these save yourself the embarrassment and THROW THESE AWAY.

Sketchers Really?

I could seriously just post these pictures and not say anything and everyone would get exactly what i'm talking about.  But seriously...seriously...freaking seriously...I was walking around at the one of the outlet malls in vegas a few weeks ago doing some awesome shopping and i come upon a Sketchers store and entire store with just Sketchers in them.  Maybe these have existed for quite some time but I just remember thinking how in the H does this shoe brand actually an entires store for their shoes.  I have never ever not even once seen a Sketcher shoe that is attractive in any way.  I don't understand the designers for these shoes...are they just random people off the street who have zero fashion sense.  I really think that this shoe company must be like a cover business for a huge drug lord family or something otherwise i don't understand how for years and years a company can make horrid and ugly shoes and continue to stay in business even to the point of having their own dedicated stores.

Shape ups were the new sketchers product that launched recently....all the people at sketchers got together and said ok now this is the plan were are going to try and make the ugliest shoe known to man and then make money off of it.  So they sat in that room for weeks and came up with this...the Sketchers Shape Ups.  The, to date, ugliest shoe ever designed...and i have actually seen people wearing them.

I will never understand Sketchers...if you own a pair of Sketchers take a trip to downtown anywhere and give them to a homeless person so he or she can take one look at them and say you should definitely THROW THOSE AWAY.

Soul Patch, Flavor Savor, Grossness

Today we are going to talk about the hair men, hopefully not women, grow right under their bottom lip.  This has been called a soul patch, or a flavor savor.  It's hard for me to fully comprehend why certain guys desire to have hair that catches food, while they are eating, so they can return to that food later on.

In each of these picture examples I look at the guys and am immediately creeped out.  Now lets try a little test, take your finger and cover up the chin area so you do not see any hair.  Note a huge difference, all of a sudden they look like normal, sane, human beings and not rapists, except for Fred Durst he's a lost cause and will always look like a rapist.

If you have currently made the mistake of not shaving this little area on your face, find a pair of hair clippers, beard trimmers, or even, any pair of scissors and get to a mirror immediately.  Cut off that sorry excuse for facial hair off and put it in a little plastic baggy so you can walk over to the garbage can and THROW THAT AWAY, before you get picked up and put in a police lineup of sexual predators, 95% of the time the first thing told to a police station sketch artist is...."i remember they definitely had a soul patch."

Hey are those docs?

So lets go back 10 years again, everybody who was anybody was wearing Doc Martens.  They were cool and I had 3 pair over their short lived life of being "in".  I had a couple pair of sandals and some of the classic looking shoes to wear to church and school dances.  If you had on a pair of docs everybody knew pretty quick because of the huge A.. soles and the yellow stitching.  By far my favorite part of Doc Martens was that they were so big and heavy they inadvertently toned your leg muscles.  No need to stomp around with ankle weights all day, like your larger aunt, Doc Martens fulfilled the same purpose.


Jump forward ten years now...walk around at any public place and you will still see a few people sporting Doc Martens.  Here is a list of why someone would still be wearing these horrid shoes.

1.  They are the same shoes from ten years ago, the soles were so big that they still haven't worn out.
2.  In their day-to-day lives they very often find themselves stepping on nails.
3.  They forgot its the year 2011.

If you still have a pair of Doc Martens in your closet it's ok I won't tell anybody just as long as you THROW THOSE AWAY.

Remember when puka shell necklaces were cool......?  I barely do.  I admit I owned a few of these necklaces when I was in Jr high School, yeah in and around the years 1999-2001.  As I walk to and from class it shocks me, now over 10 years later, that people still own these disgusting necklaces.  What goes through their mind as they get ready for the day and put the necklace around their neck and look in the mirror....Yeah that looks good....  I really wish I had the cojones to do them the favor of ripping it off of their neck and spilling the shells all over the floor.  Please people if you still have a puka shell necklace THROW THAT AWAY.